Channel Your Emotional Range (control your emotions)
Way back in my middle school years, there was this girl that I liked. It turned out to be my first ‘relationship’.
What I found out about myself, is that I was a nervous wreck. I could barely look her in the eyes when we talked, and would cross one of my arms across my chest, and keep squeezing my shoulder.
I would get so red just talking about her to my friends, and even though it was fun, it continued like this for most of the time.
Fast forward to today, I don’t have that problem anymore, but I sometimes think about those days, because while I might not have that problem anymore, I know that we humans are emotional creatures, and if we don’t get our emotions in check, they’ll control us.
Being controlled by our emotions makes us weak, irrational, and reckless. Emotions aren’t the problem, it’s how we allow ourselves to be affected by them.
Here’s what I learned from my past experiences, as well as a podcast interview with therapist Lair Torrent (Episode 125).
Think of your emotions like a river. You want to get close, right on the bank of the river, and for most people, you want to dip your toes, or put your hand in, and feel your emotions.
Me? I prefer to jump in that river and experience everything at full force because I know that it’ll allow me to process faster, and I know that I can swim.
Is it overwhelming? It can be, but it’s so freeing.
But what are you supposed to do when emotions begin to overwhelm you, well here’s my three-step framework for dealing with them.
First, label the emotion and understand what it is you're feeling.
Second, figure out the origin, and where is the emotion coming from.
Three, objectively see if there is anything you can do to change the situation, if there is, go do that, and if there isn’t make peace with your emotion, and accept it.
That’s it, it might take some practice, and it isn’t perfect, but it’s much better than the two alternatives of ignoring your emotions or being controlled by your emotions.
